This piece was originally written as a Winter Holiday Candle lighting service or what some would call a “Blue Christmas” service- amended to include all backgrounds. Within this program, there were applicable songs, blessings and a candle lighting with the reading of names of those in memoriam. I have removed those portions to be more widely applicable. Perhaps you will find the read cathartic enough, as is. Or, if you are looking for something ceremonial tonight for the solstice or for your own winter/blue service, you might be able to use this as your scaffolding… adding in your own songs, prayers, and list of names.
The word solstice comes from Latin and it means “sun standing still”….
The solstice is one of the longest standing ancient celebrations worldwide. It marks the longest night of the year, which in turn, creates the shortest period of daylight in a 24hr period. And on the solstice, the sun is at its lowest height in the sky.
The solstice resonates with me because it so beautifully reflects grief and loss…. when your sun, your reliable source of light hangs low and goes dim, when you are consumed by long periods of darkness and light is harder now to come by.
This is a busy time of year for many. There are pageants and shows to attend, out of town guests to entertain, special food dishes to prepare, bright, flashing lights adorn ordinary buildings and objects are wrapped up in brightly colored paper with bows. And sometimes, the expectations of us during this time are higher… be it from the society that tells you to buy more or smile more… or from our own friends and families who knowingly or unknowingly place demands on our time, money or self. Sometimes, these demands falsely draw us away from ourselves and ask us to be untrue- to pretend- to pretend to enjoy and to deny the pain and angst we feel inside. And yet to deny this darkness, to deny this pain, denies the very core of our humanity, our vulnerability, our love. Because you can’t have light without the dark… and you can’t have pain without the love.
About just this, a writer by the name of Brigit Anna McNeill has this to share:
“… many find the descent into their own body a scary thing indeed, fearing the unmet emotions and past events that they have stored in the dark caves inside themselves, not wanting to face what they have so carefully and unkindly avoided.
This winter solstice time is no longer celebrated as it once was, with the understanding that this period of descent into our own darkness was so necessary in order to find our light. That true freedom comes from accepting with forgiveness and love what we have been through and vanquishing the hold it has on us, bringing the golden treasure back from the cave of our darker depths.
This is a time of rest and deep reflection…
A time for the medicine of story, of fire, of nourishment and love.
A period of reconnecting, relearning and reclaiming of what this time means brings winter back to a time of kindness, love, rebirth, peace and unburdening instead of a time of dread, fear, depression and avoidance. This modern culture teaches avoidance at a max at this time; alcohol, lights, shopping, overworking, over spending, bad food and consumerism.
And yet the natural tug to go inwards, as nearly all creatures are doing, is strong and people are left feeling as if there is something wrong with them, that winter is cruel and leaves them feeling abandoned and afraid. Whereas in actual fact, winter is so kind. Yes, she points us in her quiet soft way towards our inner self, towards the darkness and potential death of what we were, but this journey, if held with care, is essential.
She is like a strong teacher that asks you to awaken your inner loving elder or therapist, holding yourself with awareness of forgiveness and allowing yourself to grieve, to cry, rage, laugh, and face what we need to face in order to be freed from the jagged bonds we wrapped around our hearts, in order to reach a place of healing and light without going into overwhelm. Winter takes away the distractions, the noise, and presents us with the perfect time to rest and withdraw into a womb like love, bringing fire and light to our hearth.ā
“Winter Sky”- a poem by Spiritwind
In the cold of the night,
through the glittering white
of a winter’s falling snow,
your love shines on me
a light like a silhouette’s afterglow.
Through the clouds passing by,
your beauty burns bright
across that lonely winter sky,
that warms me deep inside
in the chilly winds that blow
And when you’re miles away
I see your footsteps by my side
as I reach up for that winter sky
and hold you in my dreams tonight
where you will always be and stay
when that winter sky wakes the day.
Spiritwind 2014
As we talk about the need for quiet reflection and going inward, let us now take this time to light a candle, say their name and remember those that we hold dear… now in our hearts, no longer in our arms.
While the winter season applies to us all, for many, this is also one of, if not the biggest, holiday seasons of the year…
There’s a passage by Marianne Williamson that reads:
” The holidays are a time of spiritual preparation, if we allow them to be. Weāre preparing for the birth of our possible selves… And the labor doesnāt happen in our fancy places; there is never āroom in the inn,ā or room in the intellect, for the birth of our authentic selves. That happens in the manger of our most humble places, with lots of angels… all around.
Something happens in that quiet place, where weāre simply alone and listening to nothing but our hearts. Itās not loneliness, that aloneness. Itās rather the solitude of the soul, where we are grounded more deeply in our own internal depths. Then, having connected more deeply to God, weāre able to connect more deeply with each other. Our connection to the divine unlocks our connection to the universe.”
During this time, when Christians celebrate the birth of a Savior, let us not forget their story- when for even the son of God, there was “no room in the inn”; and in a lonely manger one was born who embraced the forgotten, the forlorn, the hurting and the oppressed. And they called Him the “light of the world”…
Let us go inward, let us reflect and heal…. and then, whenever it is that we become ready…. let us emerge with a helping hand for those who sit in the place where we once sat… where we wept… where we still weep. Let it be an acceptance of the darkness we’ve known so well… and then, like the solstice, like the Jewish celebration of Hanukkah… let it also be a celebration of light into which we emerge and to which we find ourselves… perhaps not as we were before, but present and worthy nonetheless.
Whether amidst our sorrows, we light the candles of a Kinara for Kwanza, of a menorah for Hanukkah, of an advent wreath, a yule log… or a candle for your loved one… try not to lose sight that amongst darkness, light always prevails.
Wishing you all peace and many blessings this Yule and always. May you have a gentle and safe holiday season. And in some way, may you both share and receive love.
