“Who saved who?”….
I’ve seen the bumper sticker with the paw print and the sentimental saying and I appreciate it for it’s worth. I’ve seen first hand the bond between cats and dogs and their lonely owners. Animal rescues hold the potential to save many lives, tortured by solitude. Scientific studies have shown the benefit of animal camaraderie on mental health. And so, this truth doesn’t weigh lightly on my mind. I’ve always loved animals. Fortunately for me though, they are less of a “need” and more of a “luxurious addition”.
A nurse who works full-time and blogs, two kids for whom schooling is a challenge and activity is a constant desire, and a husband who puts his all into providing for his family and yet is constantly trying to keep up with all their shenanigans …. No one here needed animals to keep them company. And yet there’s a zoo here:
The 9-year-old rescue dog who’s perfect, except for her propensity to sneak out of the yard and go hunting … only to come home smelling like death. The cat who will piss in the laundry basket if you don’t keep her litter box clean. The rabbit who loves more than anything to pull her hay out of the box and toss it through the slated cage all over the floor, if her 13-year-old owner doesn’t exercise her enough. The algae- eating fish who doesn’t do his job and the snake who thank god … completely minds his own business, if only his 10-year-old owner would just remember to feed him on time! Oh yeah, and the frogs who need live crickets, which we toss in a powdered vitamin supplement just prior to feeding.
So, were we looking for a second dog? Haha funny. But she came to us … without tags or a direction home. My intention was only to find her owner, but when no one came forward, we grew by another 4 paws. We made it official on Facebook and sealed the deal to ‘commit’ by forking over the money to vaccinate, chip and spay her.
A new collar, matching bowls and freshly inscribed tags made it feel like a fairy tale ending. Only it wasn’t quite that magical…..
You see … after about a month and a spay that unfortunately ended an unknown pregnancy. Our sweet little rescue began to exhibit some undesirable behaviors and they took a toll on our family. She became aggressive and territorial. She obsessed about her sleep place and gathered cat toys as if they were her pups, defending them with vigor. Not to mention her constant barking became almost unbearable. It took a major toll on my day sleeping and an even bigger toll on my marriage. While I have an unrelenting affinity for saving lost creatures, my husband has a much easier time saying “Enough is enough”. I bought her some more time by explaining that her hormones were raging and her animal instincts were confused; But when she snapped at my husband as he tried to remove her from my bed, I knew her days were numbered if I didn’t take action soon.
Armed with the internet, an understanding vet and an undying desire to make this situation work, I took every feasible action I could. Daily walks, obedience training and a no-nonsense approach to her every behavior and household possessions became rote. I learned that it was my job to teach her that everything belonged to me and that she only gained access to them if I allowed it. Walks and playing fetch helped her to burn excessive energy and structure gave her expectations. This decreased her anxiety and increased her respect for us as humans. Within a week, I had a new dog. Within a month, we began to build trust again.
“You did such a good thing rescuing her!”, they said. “You saved her!” and for a minute I believed all the hype. It’s true! I didn’t need or really, for a minute, even want a second dog. But I saved her anyway. I’m kind of a hero 🙂
But every hero needs a little saving himself. And the truth is … she saved me too – not from loneliness and not because I needed fulfillment in my life. That’s important … but I get that through home and work. She saved me because she taught me what I had forgotten that I needed. She reminded me.
She reminded me that I needed to get outside for fresh air and exercise. Sunshine and burning off energy is good for dogs and humans. I needed those walks and sunshine more than I ever realized. I had become lazy with my older dog, merely opening the back door to let her out into the fenced yard. She’s loving the walks now too!
She reminded me that yelling accomplishes nothing and that calm assertive energy is effective. I’m a Mom…why did a dog have to remind me of that?!
She reminded me to be patient. Change doesn’t happen with one treat or one command but gradually over time and with repeated efforts.
She reminded me to be consistent. One of the fastest ways to sabotage your own efforts, in any relationship, is through a lack of consistency.
She reminded me that loving isn’t spoiling but learned respect and earned privileges followed by praise and affection .
She reminded me that when things are hard and the people you love the most are ready to give up – that’s when you work the hardest. And you don’t ever give up until you’ve exhausted all options.
If the dog hadn’t learned. If she had bitten someone or posed a true threat to my family’s safety – she would have had to find a new home. And I would have had to accept the possibility that she could be put down as a result of her age and aggressive signs. No doubt about it … my family comes first! But I’m glad she did learn and I’m glad I did too.
It’s been almost 5 months since Pinkie came into our lives and into our home. She’s not perfect ….. but neither am I. We’re both a little anxious, can be mouthy and loud, have lots of energy and need a ton of physical affection. She has grown by leaps and bounds but it will take much more time before she has gained full trust in all things. Still, we both worked hard to make the relationship work and it paid off. She’s the perfect snuggle-buddy for my kids, the perfect guard dog for the house and she has befriended all of the household creatures beautifully … including my husband.
Through hard work, commitment and patience ……. another soul, another pup … was saved.
