Growing up, we really didn’t have any business owning a bunch of animals. My parents had enough expenses trying to maintain a household with four kids. The household chores too, were heavy enough without creatures to add to the mix. And with six people living in a small four bedroom home, we had plenty of human interaction to keep anyone from getting lonely or bored. As a rule, I do believe human interaction should be enough. We shouldn’t need animals to learn certain lessons or to possess certain personality traits. If we find ourselves in a place where we are lacking in these areas, we should probably be more proactive in finding more and better human interaction. So, when we as children wanted to have animals it would have been completely understandable and acceptable for my parents to deny us them.
And yet when my siblings and I found the orphaned kittens under my Grandmother’s shed, my Mother let us bring two of them home. She took them to the vet and had them treated for their numerous parasites and “Frisky” and “Elizabeth” were loved until their death. When an Avon customer of my Mom’s needed to re-home 3 hamsters….we took them. “Shark”, and his two mistresses created more hamsters…and we loved them too…until we found them homes and learned to keep Shark in a separate cage. Lizards, frogs, a gerbil, more rescued street cats, some pretty cool fish, a snake, a guinea pig and an eventual a dog…were all loved pets in the household. Now that I look back on it…most of our childhood pets were rescues too. I guess that’s where I learned to rescue……(funny how reflection leads to discovery).
Now, as an adult, I can honestly look back and think we could’ve done a better job. The rodents cages always stunk and the cats always ended up with fleas. How? I have no idea…they were inside cats. But I suppose they didn’t have “Frontline” back then. Vet bills were the last things my parents needed when they were trying to pay for 4 kids clothes and food….but they always paid them. And we always loved those animals. My Mom tried to stay on us about the litter and bedding changes and my Dad did his best to accommodate our requests for this animals or that….but they would’ve been in their right to say “No” more often. I’m glad they didn’t.
Don’t get me wrong, I in no way condone anything less than superior care of animals. They are living creatures and they deserve the best that we can give. We, as adults, must know our abilities and limits and decide accordingly, what we are capable of handling. And still, I’m glad my parents said “yes” so often; because having animals taught us a lot.
Animals taught us responsibility. Caring for the animals was always on the chore list. Each of us always had an animal that we were responsible for feeding or a cage that we were required to clean. Our animals relied on us to provide for them and we were expected to follow through.
They taught us compassion and empathy. When our rescues were in need of a home, we observed a sacrifice to make room, to find money, to make it happen so that the animals weren’t put down. When they were sick or had surgery we understood that they were hurting and we knew to be extra tender with them. And when it was time to say our good-byes, it was always done with sincerity and respect. And each little critter received a respectful burial.
They taught us patience and tolerance. Sometimes animals bite. Sometimes, animals don’t listen to our command. Often times, animals make messes. Despite these behaviors, we were taught to always be kind. While dogs can be trained, you can’t control an animal’s every-move anymore than you can control humans. We learned to meet them where they were. New animals needed time and space to acclimate.Teasing or torturing animals in any way was never acceptable in our house.
They taught us diversity. Wherever they fell in the animal kingdom…each creature had its own needs. Reptiles, mammals, fish, furry or scaly, snuggly or quick…we were taught to care for everybody that came into our home, whatever those needs might be. We were taught not to tap on the glass of an aquarium-the sound is deafening to fish and stressful for them. We learned that lizards and frogs don’t enjoy being held by human hands and were best observed from the other side of the tank. Hamsters and gerbils need frequent, gentle handling to remain docile. Snakes need heat, a secure enclosure and a place to hide. Cats need space and dogs need exercise. Whatever the animal was, we learned that they had different needs.
They taught us to love. We were taught that every life mattered. Everyone deserved to be loved and respected. We learned to see the beauty in the face of a reptile just as much as the face of a cat or dog. And a powerful thing happens when you teach a child that both a mouse and a snake are worthy of love. You teach them that all life matters and yet you instill an honesty about the cycle of life and a respect for the life that was sacrificed for the other life to continue. When a child feels the pangs of a life that is lost but understands that that life is allowing another life to continue…that’s a universal lesson being taught.
They gave us love. Growing up is hard. Sometimes, even those closest to us let us down. But if we treat our pets right, they will always love us unconditionally. I remember many days grabbing a cat and unloading my daily woes into their fur, wet with my tears. I talked to the hamsters and gerbils too. And no one will ever love you like a dog will.
They taught us perspective. The cats approached us on their terms and usually maintained an arm’s-length distance…. cautious lovers, I call them. The dogs could never get enough love and were always in our face, they thrived on attention. The reptiles provided the opportunity for quiet reflection. Watching their every move from the other side of the glass one could imagine what it must be like to be them. They appreciated their solidarity. The hamsters always huddled together, they valued community. Each animal gave us a different perspective on what it must be like to be them. No one was quite the same and yet they all had biological reasons why they behaved the way they did. And regardless of their needs and wants, we loved them all the same.
- Interestingly, scientists, psychologists and researchers also seem to feel that animals hold the potential for positive outcomes in children and people as a whole and it has been studied quite a bit. It’s no surprise that animal friendly sites such a ‘Pet Partners’ would have research to back their claims; but even Parenting and Time magazine have published several articles (URLs listed at end of article) discussing the effects of animals on children. They too, cite numerous accounts and studies which have found a positive correlation when children are taught to care for and are exposed in a positive way to animals. These benefits have been cited as providing a “buffer against loneliness” and encouraging cooperative behaviors, learned sharing, an increased awareness of non-verbal communication, encouraging social interaction with others through the shared experience of owning a pet and empathy. –
So while animals are in no way necessary and human interaction should be “enough”, animals still hold the potential to help us learn character traits that aid us in our interactions with humans. If we can learn to have empathy for a homeless or ailing pet than we can learn to have empathy for humans who are in need. If we can learn as a child, the various needs of different pets, then we should be able to understand that people have different needs too. No one fits into the same box. No one grows the same way. No one requires the same, uses the same, loves the same. And if we can learn to love a pet that occasionally hurts us and doesn’t always listen then we can learn to forgive a friend who too might hurt or disregard us.
It would only be fitting that I’d carry the same tradition of saving and loving animals into my family. And thus, the Meneses Zoo has slowly developed. Two dogs, a cat, a rabbit, snake and fish living with us now….a frog, a kitten and a hamster buried in the backyard. Now it’s my turn to fuss after the kids to feed, water, tend to. It’s my turn to educate and to model. And it’s my hope that they learn …. responsibility, compassion, patience, diversity and love. And it’s also my hope that despite how hard I try to be the best parent I can be, that when I fail, they find solace in the unconditional love of the warm bodies they call their pets.
Like my parents, I should probably say “no” more often. But I do believe ( and science supports) that children have a natural propensity to love animals and I choose to invest in that. I choose to use these creatures to teach my children that everyone has different needs and different desires. That beauty is found in many forms. That you are obligated to care for those who rely on you. That there is always someone who is willing to listen. And that if you treat someone right, they should always love you back. And it’s my hope that my children will one day show their kids the magic of saving a kitten from the streets, the power in learning to handle a snake, the strength of training a dog and commanding its respect and the compassion and love it takes to end it’s suffering and celebrate its short life. It’s my hope that my kids, like me, like my parents will continue to say “yes”.
Links to articles supporting the effects of animals on children:
https://petpartners.org/learn/benefits-human-animal-bond/
http://www.parents.com/parenting/pets/kids/pets-good-for-kids/
